Supposed To
by PureCreation97
Summary: I don't love Jake, not the way I'm supposed to. Then again life never really works out the way it's supposed to. One-Shot. Really bad summary.


Hi lovelies! This came out of nowhere and if I'm being honest I don't like Nessie. (You can thank my cousin for freaking me out about getting pregnant young.) Anyways, since then Bella got pregnant it kinda ruined everything for me, but I still love Twilight. This story popped up in my head so I decided to make it a one-shot. I hope you like it!

I own nothing.

**Supposed to**

**Nessie's POV**

Deep down I know it's wrong. Deep down I know I don't love him, not the way I'm supposed to. I love him as a friend, as a brother, hell I love him like a father but, as a lover? No.

I can feel the tears start to prick up in my eyes and I curl up into an even tighter ball, under my comforter. Is it possible that I could be his soul mate but, he's not mine? I'm starting to hate imprinting, hate the God's that set us up together, hate the fact that no matter how hard I try my heart can't fake love. Sure, in front of him I play the imprint part, kiss him, hug him, stare aimlessly into his eyes but, I know it's all an act. My tears flow harder and turn into sobs. I try my best to stay quiet but, I know someone will hear. I hear the inevitable knock on my door but, I don't really want to talk so I just ignore it. Who ever it is knocks again and I sigh, knowing they could and would literally stand there forever knocking until I answer.

"Come in." It's barely above a whisper but, the knob turns and my bed creeks under more weight. I pull the covers over my head and focus on sleep.

"Ness, sweetie. Are you okay?" It's my mom. Maybe, just maybe, I could talk to her about this. We've always been close and I tell her everything anyway. She would understand what I'm going through, she was in the same spot with Jake. I peel back the covers from my head and look at my mom's worried face. I open my mouth to say something but, nothing comes out so, I slip my hand over hers and show her what I'm feeling. I've improved my ability and now I'm sort of like uncle Jasper. I can show you images but, I can also make you feel how I feel just by touching you. I look into my mothers eyes and she just nods her head.

"How did you handle this? Because it's killing me."My voice sounds desperate even to me.

"Jake never imprinted on me so I never felt the pull you have toward him but, it was very hard. I did love him very much just not as much as your dad. In the end I couldn't make my heart do something it wouldn't and now I have you. The best decision I ever made." She smiles now, and brushes a strand of hair away from my face.

"Okay, I have a confession."

"What is it baby?" My mouth goes dry and I don't know how to tell her. The real reason why I don't love Jacob the way I should.

"I've been keeping this in for a while. The only one that knows is uncle Jaz, he could feel it. Um... the reason why I don't love Jake is because I love someone else." My mom's eyes bulge out in surprise.

"I didn't even know that was possible with imprinting."

"Neither did I. Ever since I could remember I woke up think about Jacob, but one day I woke up thinking about someone else. Then I started think about him during the day, then before I went to sleep, and before I realized it I hardly ever thought of Jacob when he wasn't around."

"Are you going to tell me who he is?" She arched her brow playfully and smiles. That's the best part about my mom, she's happy as long as I am. I slip my hand over hers again and show her favorite image of him. The day we got caught in the rain before we found shelter under a random persons porch. I remember being mesmerized by the little drops rolling down his bare toned chest, down his abs, then soak into the waistband of his cut off jeans.

"Seth?" Mom looks slightly bewildered. I just nod and blush taking back my hand. Silence lays comfortable between us, and I know that she's waiting for me to explain.

"He's my best friend. I think the first memory I have is of Seth sitting on our couch eating something grandma made for him. He fits in our family better then Jake. Sometimes I wish it was him instead of Jake. But, the worse part about it is that I don't know how he feels about me."

"I wish I could say that everything will work out the way you want it to but, I can't. I don't want you to get your hopes up, but I will tell you that 'what if' will hurt you more then the truth." I sigh letting the truth of her words sink in.

"Your right, thank you." She hugs me then walks out of the room, leaving me with my thoughts.

I don't know when I started loving Seth, I think I always have. Time seams to speed up and slow down when I think about him. One day I went for a run in the morning and found a nice rock to sit on. I needed to clear my head, and I sat there all day just think about him. Jacob got so worried that when I returned he didn't let me out of his sight for a week.

I treasure that day, the freedom to think and feel without everybody knowing. I'm always careful with my thoughts, especially around my dad. I know he means well but this is something I didn't want him knowing. When I'm really desperate I ask my to expand her shield so I can have some privacy.

Running and mom's shield is the time I take to dissect, all the little detail about Seth that makes him the way he is. Like the way he shakes his hair out when it's wet, or how he lets me hide my face in his shoulder when I blush. I like the way he knows my favorite line from my favorite movie and sings with me at the top of our lungs in my room. But, my favorite thing is when it's just us and I feel so at peace I fall asleep on his shoulder. He's never held me like I want him to, out of respect for his alpha and Jake as a person. Seth looks up to him so much.

Sometimes when I'm really brave, I think about what it would be like to kiss him, to be held in his arms, or what our wedding night would be like. At times I get so caught up in that thought that it almost comes to me in a vision like auntie Alice. I never a full picture but, little snips and scenes that feel so real. Warm lips, skin touching , lips grazing, nails scratching, and moans above all moans. When things are really quiet around the house I think my subconscious likes to play tricks on me, because I hear him in my ear just like when I have my little visions. I get deep satisfaction in thinking that I could make Seth moan the way he does in my dreams.

"What if..." I say those two words letting it hang in the air. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I know deep in my gut that I can't live with 'What if?'.

I love Seth and I can't hide forever. Excitement bubbles up inside me. I haven't seen him in a few days, but I figure Jacob has him doing something werewolfy, since he's visiting his sister in Hawaii.

I tie up my coppery hair into a ponytail and slip on shoes, deciding against driving. Needing the fresh air to help me from hyperventilating. I skip down the stairs, my mom is there reading Wurthering Heights looking rather human with her hair up in a messy bun, and her feet tucked under her curled into the armrest. She looks up at me, giving a reassuring smile as if to say 'Your doing the right thing.'I turn to open the door and suddenly, I can feel it. Change lingers in the air around me and my stomach does small flip flops, but I push the nasty feel out of my head and walk out into the fog of Forks.

A small part of me dies when I think about hurting Jake but, a completely different person comes alive when I think about my life with Seth. I can picture me swollen belly my baby happy and warm, already so loved even though unborn. I can imagine Seth holding out little bundle of joy for the first time, vowing to never let anything hurt them. Above all I can picture loving him for the rest of my life.

I run at a leisurely pace trying to think of exactly what I'm going to say. Half way through a speech I come up with I decide it sounds stupid and that the right words will come in the moment. I breathe deep and just enjoy the stretch of my muscle as I pump my legs at an even pace. I can tell I'm getting close when I recognize his scent. I see a small clearing ahead and slow my run to a jog, and then my jog to a walk as I get to the familiar steps of his house. I walk up the 3 step and softly knock on his door as nerves hit me. I heard footstep getting closer to the closed door and a smile spreads across my face as he opens it.

"Ness! You are just the person I needed to see." His eyes shine and I can't put my finger on it but, I've seen that look before, just not on him. Disappointment washes over me as he simple steps back letting me without going for a hug like he normally does.

"I needed to see you too." I walk past him kicking off my shoes like I have a thousand times before.

"I have someone I want you to meet." His face lights up like a neon sign and it hits me. He imprinted. No, that's not possible, I'm just over reacting. Breath Ness, breath.

"Oh... Okay. Who is he?" I try to make it clear that I don't want to meet a girl but, he just laughs and shakes his head. We walk down the long hallway of his house heading to the living room.

"No, it's a girl. I meet her in the cave at First Beach." I stop dead in my tracks, and I start to hyperventilate even though I don't need to breathe. He met her in OUR cave?!

"Wait, you mean our cave. The one we found together when I was 5?"

"Yep! I went there the other day to think and there she was." A dreamy tone comes over his voice and I feel like throwing up.

"I thought we were the only ones that knew about it but, Ellen said she had been going there for years. You'll love her Ness, come on." Seth puts his arm around me and practically drags me into the living room, she looks at him and stands up. He drops his arm thats around me and puts it around her instead, kissing her cheek. I'm trying to mentally check out of the situation but, it's not working and I keep staring, waiting for him to push her away and kiss me but, he never does.

"El, this is my friend Nessie. Nessie this is my beautiful imprint Ellen." She's gorgeous. Long tan legs, gray eyes, and a blindingly white smile. He doesn't look at me while introducing us, he just stands there talking, while being completely engrossed by her eyes. I don't really know what to do without breaking down so I stick my hand out suddenly, starling them back to reality. Ellen simply laughs and shakes my hand.

"Sorry, I just get so caught up in him."

"I know what you mean." I blurt out without thinking. Ellen gives Seth a questioning look and I'm about to bolt but, I stop when I realize he doesn't know I love him.

"Ness is Jacob's imprint. She completely understand the whole spacing out thing, she does it all the time." I can't take it anymore, I feel like I'm about to crumble into a million pieces.

"You know what I forgot that it's my turn to clean the house, so it was really nice to meet you Ellen. Seth, I will see you around." I turn on my heals, mentally cursing myself for taking off my shoes. I slip them on and open the door before taking off. I can feel myself dying on the inside and I really don't know what to do. I run as fast as I can back to the house and fall into my mom's arms. She rocks me and tells me things will work out but, I know she's wrong. Someone knocks on the front door and I go up to my room letting her deal with whoever it is. I'm starting to drift to sleep, the emotions wiping me out when she knocks on my door and peaks her head in.

"Ness, Jacob's home. Do you want me to tell him to come back later?" Her voice sounds sad and I realize what I have to do for everyone.

"No, I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay." She closes the door and walks back down stairs. I muster up all my courage and rush down the stairs into my imprints arms, so convincingly that I shock myself.

"I missed you." I say as I look into Jakes eyes. They're not Seth's but, they're close. He smiles and wraps his arms around me. His arms aren't Seth's but, they're close.

"I missed you too." He leans down and kisses my lips. They're not Seth's and they never will be but, I kiss back because it's the right thing to do.

5 Years Later

"I do." Love rings in Seth's every word and I cry along with everyone else, but not because I'm happy. I cry because I wish that was me he was saying those words to. Jacob wraps his arms around me and I wrap mine around my baby belly, playing with the ring on my left hand. I did everything I was supposed to and I did it with a smile so convincing that if I didn't tell you the truth, you would think I was completely in love with Jake.

Through the years I've learned to love him, I love him because he's my friend, I love him because he when he doesn't know why I'm crying he does his best to make me feel better, and most of all I love him because he's giving me the greatest give of all. Our daughter Claira to be born in 3 months. Secretly I searched for the female version of Seth but, I couldn't settle on something I liked so Claira it is, because it reminds me of Clearwater. Pathetic I know but, it makes me feel like a part of him is a part of her.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. Seth you may kiss you beautiful bride." A mischievous grin spreads across his face and he kisses Ellen deeply.

In the end I was right. I will love Seth for the rest of my life, even if he doesn't love me back. Because he's happy and I love him enough to let him go.


End file.
